Final transcription

There are many reasons why cohabitation before marriage is improper. And the influence can be divided as three aspects: the romance itself, relationship with others, and impact on marriage.

First of all, I talk about the aspects of romance itself. Cohabitation will make many big differences in getting along with each other.

Living habits

Living together means that you have to fit in each other's living habits. You and your mate come from different family, there must be many things which need to be adjusted and accommodated. Maybe your mate's bad habits make you intolerable. If you don’t learn to communicate and accept it, you will break up soon.

Not mature enough

Many college students and even high school students once they are in the relationship, they cohabit with each other. Even though they don’t understand each other deeply. However, they are still teenagers and they are impulsive. Their mind is not mature enough. It is easily for them to do something regretful such as pregnancy. And they don’t know how to resolve it and take the responsibility.

No more romance

 Couples living together are easily getting bored. At first, couples might be content with this kind of life style. Because they will have much more time to get along with. They enjoy their own world without other people. And they have no time to get along with their friends.

But when time passes, their life will become exhausted. Every day you come home, you face the same person. You two having dinner, watching TV or do anything else together. It becomes routine. You are not excited when you see him. And the freshness of love disappears rapidly.

Second is the aspect of relationship with other people.

Friends

If you live with your mate, you will have no time to get along with your friends. And you will find out that you are gradually isolated from them.

Parents

Many parents think it is inappropriate to cohabit before marriage. And the children who have the experience of cohabitation are afraid to tell their parents and hide the truth. Children think their parents are too conventional to accept the concept of cohabitation. But I think parents are not conventional but care about their children. How will others think about a girl who lives with her boyfriend? There must be lots of rumors and gossip. Her value might be lower. And it is harmful for a girl's chastity.

Third, the trend of cohabitation affects people’s belief of marriage. Some people think the experience of cohabitation will weaken the faith that marriage is a permanent combination. Both research of Taiwan and America says that people who have the experience of cohabitation have lower marriage values. Nowadays, more and more people live with lovers before marriage. The reason why most people agree cohabitation before marriage is that couples can know each other deeply and swiftly. They believe that it is better for a relationship. However, some people are satisfied with current situation and have no desire to get married. They think marriage is a bound; while cohabitation is still free. The relationship will be stopped and make no progress. So, cohabitation influences people’s desire of marriage and the rate of divorce.

Decrease the desire of marriage

Cohabitation can make couples enjoy the happiness of marriage and don't need to be limited. They don't have to go through the responsibility in marriage. It will make people think that marriage is troublesome and not beneficial at all. So couples stop at this stage and make no progress like getting married. As a result, many of couples have been cohabiting for a long time and don't get married. Some couples even break up ultimately after cohabiting many years. For the poor, cohabitation is an alternative of marriage. After getting married, the expense of life will become much more than before. And you have to own car and house to build your own family. In order to avoid economical spending, poor people choose cohabitation instead of marriage.

Increase the rate of divorce

On the other hand, cohabitation will increase the rate of divorce. I find a source which was entitled The Downside of Cohabiting before Marriage written by clinic psychologist Meg Jay of the University of Virginia.

Couples who cohabit before marriage tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect. Couples who use cohabitation as a test are more likely to be the victims of poor relationship quality and eventual relationship dissolution. One of his patients named Jennifer faced the problem of divorce even though she had cohabited with her boyfriend for more than four years.

And he also mentioned the risks lie in cohabitation itself-cohabitation is a problem and has nothing to with individual characteristics like religion, education or politics. The risks of cohabitation might be that couples live together gradually. And he thought that the process is like a slope. (dating-sleep over-sleep over a lot- cohabiting)Most lovers said it just happened bypassing talking about why they want to live together and what it would mean.

From the chart, we can find out that men are more likely than women to be not "completely committed" to their partners. Cohabiting young adults have significantly lower levels of commitment than their married peers. Women usually see cohabitation as a step toward marriage; while men only view it as a way to test a relationship. In our society, we have to take the responsibility of procreation. When people reach the marriageable age, they are forced to get married. If your mate just wants to cohabit and have no preparation for marriage, the discord will cause conflicts and even put the relationship to an end.

Conclusion

According to things discussed above, it is obvious that cohabitation is not the assurance of a happy and wonderful marriage.

And it is not a good way for every relationship.

It might weaken the faith that marriage is a permanent combination.

So, think twice before cohabitation.