Annotation 3

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/the-downside-of-cohabiting-before-marriage.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

    It is the link of the piece which was entitled The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage written by clinic psychologist Meg Jay of the University of Virginia. The reason why most people agree cohabitation before marriage is that couples can know each other deeply and swiftly. They believe that it is better for a relationship. However, the writer opposed the belief. 
    In this piece, the writer wrote''  About two-thirds said they believed that moving in together before marriage was a good way to avoid divorce. But that belief is contradicted by experience. Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not. These negative outcomes are called the cohabitation effect.'' Couples who use cohabitation as a test are more likely to be the victims of poor relationship quality and and eventual relationship dissolution. One of his patients named Jennifer faced the problem of divorce even though she had cohabited with her boyfriend for more than four years. According to this case, we can know cohabitation is not the assurance of a happy and wonderful marriage. On the contrary, couples are more easily to get divorce. 
    Jay talked about cohabitation effect in the writing'' Researchers originally attributed the cohabitation effect to selection, or the idea that cohabitors were less conventional about marriage and thus more open to divorce. As cohabitation has become a norm, however, studies have shown that the effect is not entirely explained by individual characteristics like religion, education or politics. Research suggests that at least some of the risks may lie in cohabitation itself.''  The risks of cohabitation might be that couples live together gradually. And he thought that the process is like a slope.   Most lovers said it just happened bypassing talking about why they want to live together and what it would mean. Most women who cohabit view cohabitation as a step toward marriage; while men are more likely to see it as a way to test a relationship or to postpone commitment.
    ''Sliding into cohabitation wouldn’t be a problem if sliding out were as easy.Living together can be fun and economical, and the setup costs are subtly woven in. After years of living among roommates’ junky old stuff, couples happily split the rent on a nice one-bedroom apartment. They share wireless and pets and enjoy shopping for new furniture together. Later, these setup and switching costs have an impact on how likely they are to leave.'' The patient said it is hard to break up because they shared same furniture, same dog, and they had same group of friends.  The reason why they got married was simply because they reach their 30s and it was time to form a family.
    
    

Reflection

    In my annotation 1 and annotation 2, the resource which I use to support my point is not clear enough. I didn't find the information about the author. So I can't assure that the source is dependable and credible. And in my annotation 2, the digital data of my source is opposite to my partner. Under the same condition, different points will lead to different outcomes. It's an interesting result. Therefore, in my annotation 3, I would like to compare my result and my partner's. And I will find foreign source. Premarital cohabitation is an open issue for Chinese people. So many elder people are opposed to it. Younger people think it a scandal. However, western people such as American and European are much more liberal about it. I wonder whether they have different ideas on this issue. And in my annotation 4, I will find foreign essay. I want to use essay as a strong support of my point. Because essay is more formal than information from internet. Not only western but also other country will I seek. I think that different  races, society, culture have different opinion about premarital cohabitation. Compare them, and I can know more about the factors of approval and disapproval. It is benefit for my point.

    Eva & Vicky
     Their topic which talks about whether men should watch adult videos when they have girlfriends is very interesting and novel. Vicky approve it; while Eva disapprove it. In their annotation 1 and 2, they find many sources such as 洪蘭's research. I think their topic is a little similar to my topic. The outcome will differ from country to country. So their annotation 3 and 4 can search information from other country.  What's more, it is better if they have media source which could support their opinion.

Annotation2

     The following is what I find from an essay which is entitled Cohabitation, Marriage Values and Marital Satisfaction: A Study of Taiwan society written by Yi-Yin Jung and Ming-Chang Tsai.
   It points out why people who cohabit before marriage have lower marital satisfaction. There are three main points:
    1. For the poor, cohabitation is an alternative of marriage. The rate of divorce is related to low social status and poverty. So it is possible that cohabitation will lead to divorce.
    2. People who cohabit with mates have different values from others. They don't think that marriage is to fulfill parents' expectation or the obligation of procreation. They may pay more attention to intimacy and romance. If there is something wrong in their relationship, they are easily have quarrels and even break up.
    3. Some people think the experience of cohabitation can weaken the faith that marriage is a permanent combination. Cohabitation can let people enjoy some advantages of marriage, such as getting along with lover all the day. However, you don't have to go through the responsibility in marriage. It will make people think that marriage is troublesome and not beneficial at all.
    It shows that cohabitation before marriage doesn't help people get married; instead, it decrease the rate of marriage and increase the rate of divorce.

Transcription

    Cohabitation Before Marriage
   And I disapprove it.
   There are many reasons why cohabitation before marriage is improper:
     1. Many people are not mature enough to take the responsibility of the consequences of cohabitation. Many people are too young and impulsive. It's possible that they do something regretful. And they don't know how to resolve it.
     2. No more enthusiasm and romance. Living together means you have to face the same person all the time. At first, you might be happy. Because you can see your lover all day long. But soon, you will be accustomed to the life style and be bored. And you have no time to get along with your friends. Because you get along with him. And you want to spend a lot of time with him. And it's easily to find your mate's bad habits if living together. If you two don't communicate well, and tolerate each other's bad habit, you two will break up soon.
     3. Face the dilemma when one wants to get married; while the other doesn't. Many people think marriage is a bound; while cohabitation is still free. They can enjoy the happiness and don't need to be limited. But in our society, we have to procreation. We are forced to get married and have babies. So if you two don't have the same idea on whether to get married, it will lead to a sad ending.
     4. There is no commitment and lack of identity. Many couples live together for a long time, but break up at the end. You have no assurance in this relationship. And you get nothing in the end. Not like marriage, if you divorce, you can get money.
     5.Many parents disapprove their children cohabit before marriage. Many children who cohabit with their mate are afraid to tell their parents the truth that they cohabit with their mates. They think it's an embarrassing scandal.

Premarital Cohabitation 1.2

     With the social atmosphere becomes opener, many people think that it is not a big deal to live together with their lovers. Cohabitation is a fleeting way to know a person. Because you spend most of time getting along with the same person, the relationship leaps and bounds. However, there are two sides of cohabitation. Before reaching a stable relationship, couples who live together are likely to have fights and break up at the end. Because they don't understand each other deeply, there must be many things which need communicating and coordinating. And these trivia consumes the imagination of romance which will be replaced by annoyance. If they don't reach an agreement, it will lead to a sad ending. 
     There are many reasons why cohabitation before marriage is improper:
     1. Many people are not mature enough to take the responsibility          of the consequences of cohabitation
     2. No more enthusiasm and romance
     3. Face the dilemma when one wants to get married while the              other doesn't
     4. There is no commitment lack of identity
     -from ''living together for love'', Yi- Xin Huang, published by Gao-Lin International AG
        

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQA_8Dh9jYY

     

     According to the video, many parents think it is inappropriate to cohabit before marriage. And the children who have the experience of cohabitation are afraid to tell their parents the fact that they live with their boyfriends or girlfriends. In their opinion, parents will forbid them from living together certainly. And they think it is an embarrassing scandal to let other people know. How will others think about a girl who lives with her boyfriend? There must be lots of rumors and gossip. Her value might be lower. And it is harmful for a girl's chastity. Many people live with their lovers when they are in college. It seems common to live with whom we love and spend most of time with them. Nevertheless, collage students are not mature enough. They just turn into adults and learn to take responsibility. Both male and female are impulsive at this stage, it is possible that they do something regretful.
     What's more, I think couples living together are easily getting bored in a relationship. If cohabiting, couples will have much more time to get along with. At first, couples might be content with this kind of life style. They are like gums sticking all day long. They enjoy their own world without hanging out with their friends. But when time passes, their life will become exhausted. Facing the same person all the time makes the freshness and passion of love vanish rapidly. Eventually, they will find out that what remains in their world is only themselves. Living together means that you have to fit in each other's living habits. You and your mate come from different family, there must be many things which need to be adjusted and accommodated. You will gradually discover your mate's bad habits which make you intolerable. Not knowing how to dissolve the dilemma, you will destroy your relationship.

     Nowadays, more and more people live with lovers before marriage. Many couples have been cohabited for a long time and don't get married. Some couples even break up ultimately after cohabiting many years. Many people think marriage is a bound; while cohabitation is still free. They can enjoy the happiness and don't need to be limited. They are satisfied with current situation and have no desire to get married. The relationship will be stopped and make no progress. In our society, we have to take the responsibility of procreation. When people reach the marriageable age, they are forced to get married. If your mate just wants to cohabit and have no preparation for marriage, the discord will cause conflicts and even put the relationship to an end.  

Premarital Cohabitation

     When this semester began, my roommate stayed overnight at  his boyfriend's house sometimes. And it occurred to me that whether living together with the mate is appropriate. As far as I am concerned, I oppose the idea of premarital cohabitation even though I have boyfriend. However, after thinking deeply, I find out that I agree with cohabitation if the couple make up their mind to live together for the rest of life. So I consider that it is fine to cohabitation after engagement.
      Many people may live with their girlfriend or boyfriend when they are in college. I have heard a lot of examples, and even my roommate is one of them. It seems common to live with people whom we love and spend all of our time to be with them. However, you and your mate are not mature enough. You just turn into adults and learn to take responsibility. Both of you are still teenagers and might be impulsive. It is possible that you do something regretful. What's more, how will other people judge you after knowing you live with your mate? There must be many rumors and gossips.  Living together is a big step in a relationship. It is so important that we should think twice before making decision. Many couples live together just after in relationship. They even don't understand each other very well. It is likely to have fights at tiny things such as habits of daily life. These quarrels consume the sweet feeling of love and become burdens as time passes. The freshness of love will soon be replaced by annoyance. Since cohabitation is such an important issue, we all have to think thoroughly in case of doing something can't be saved.